Too Nice for Your Own Good : How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes
Duke Robinson
If you're like most folks, you were raised to be "nice". Yet you find yourself asking: "If I'm so nice, why isn't my life better? Why do so many of the nice things I do leave me feeling burned out, bottled up, or bumbling?" In this book, renowned minister and lecturer Duke Robinson tells you why.
Robinson knows that our well-intended, socially acceptable, nice behaviors often carry down sides, betray us and end up self-defeating. He nails nine such mistakes we nice people make every day. Look inside this book at the Contents page to see what they are.
This book will show you how to correct these mistakes, and in their place put life-affirming, liberating behaviors that will help you avoid frustration, stress and embarrassment. You will learn how to:
-- Let go of your need to please everyone.
-- Say "no" and feel wonderful about it
-- Tell others directly what you want, and actually receive it
-- Express anger in ways that heal and help you maintain valued relationships
-- Disarm those who criticize or attack you irrationally
-- Be effective in sensitive, intimate moments with those you care about
-- Stop trying to control, save and protect others and simply support them
-- Liberate your true self for a richer, more robust life.
Are you, like most of us, too nice for your own good? This remarkable book will empower you to get what you need and deserve out of life...and still be a nice person!
I'm tired, boss.
Tired of being on the road, lonely as a sparrow in the rain.
Mostly, I'm tired of people being ugly to each other.
I'm tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world.. every day.
There's too much of it.
It's like pieces of glass in my head .. all the time.
Can you understand?!
- Stephen King - The Green Mile.
There was once a businessman who was sitting by the beach in a small Brazilian village.
As he sat, he saw a Brazilian fisherman rowing a small boat towards the shore having caught quite few big fish.
The businessman was impressed and asked the fisherman, “How long does it take you to catch so many fish?”
The fisherman replied, “Oh, just a short while.”
“Then why don’t you stay longer at sea and catch even more?” The businessman was astonished.
“This is enough to feed my whole family,” the fisherman said.
The businessman then asked, “So, what do you do for the rest of the day?”
The fisherman replied, “Well, I usually wake up early in the morning, go out to sea and catch a few fish, then go back and play with my kids. In the afternoon, I take a nap with my wife, and evening comes, I join my buddies in the village for a drink — we play guitar, sing and dance throughout the night.”
The businessman offered a suggestion to the fisherman.
“I am a PhD in business management. I could help you to become a more successful person. From now on, you should spend more time at sea and try to catch as many fish as possible. When you have saved enough money, you could buy a bigger boat and catch even more fish. Soon you will be able to afford to buy more boats, set up your own company, your own production plant for canned food and distribution network. By then, you will have moved out of this village and to Sao Paulo, where you can set up HQ to manage your other branches.”
The fisherman continues, “And after that?”
The businessman laughs heartily, “After that, you can live like a king in your own house, and when the time is right, you can go public and float your shares in the Stock Exchange, and you will be rich.”
The fisherman asks, “And after that?”
The businessman says, “After that, you can finally retire, you can move to a house by the fishing village, wake up early in the morning, catch a few fish, then return home to play with kids, have a nice afternoon nap with your wife, and when evening comes, you can join your buddies for a drink, play the guitar, sing and dance throughout the night!”
The fisherman was puzzled, “Isn’t that what I am doing now?”
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✔️ The correct Eating habits according to Islam:
🔹 Part 2
💡Before you start
As mentioned before, there are some simple tips which should become a habit for all of us inorder to be immune from diseases, physically or spritualy.
1⃣ No eating unless being hungry
💠Imam Ali to his son:
Don't sit at a food table unless you're hungry and stop eating when you still have appetite for that.
2⃣ Washing the hands before eating
💠 The holy prophet said:
Washing the hands before and after the food is a healing for the body and blessing for the wealth.
3⃣ Starting the food with the name God
💠 Imam Ali said: I never had tummy issues. They asked him: how? He replied: because I didn't eat any morsel but I mentioned the name of Allah.
4⃣ Starting the foods with salt
💠 Imam Ali said: The one who starts his food with salt will be immune from seventy diseases and even the diseases which only Allah knows them.
5⃣ Taking off the shoes.
💠 The holy Prophet:
Take off your shoes while eating as it is a good manner and it's better for the feet.
6⃣ Put vegetables on your food mat.
💠 Imam Sadeq: everything has a unique beauty and the beauty of the table is vegetables.
💠 Imam Reza was refusing to sit for food where there's no vegetables.
⚠️ Note: in Islamic teachings it's recommended to sit on the floor when eating. Therefore the word"table" here is just a reminder for something like food mat.
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✔️ The Correct eating habits according to Islam:
🔹Part 3
1⃣ Eating with the right hand
💠 The holy Prophet was always advising to say Allah's name, eat with the right hand and eat the food in front of you.
🔸 In Islamic Medicine eating with hands is not only a Sunnah and tradition and preferred but also has a huge effect on digestion process.
2⃣ Starting with salt:
💠Imam kazim says: the table with no salt is not a blessed one. Starting the food with a bit of salt is good for health.
3⃣ Eat the warm food before getting cold:
💠The holy Prophet said: Eating the warm (food) has blessings.
4⃣ Making small morsels
💠 The holy Prophet said: Eating small morsels and chewing properly are parts of eating habits.
5⃣ Stop eating while still have appetite:
💠 The holy Prophet said: start eating when you have appetite and stop it when you still have appetite.
💠 Imam Reza said: "if somebody eats more than their appetite, that food will not benefit him and the one who eats just as enough, that food will benefit him; Same as water.
The correct habit is to eat from the foods in their own season.
So when you still have appetite stop eating as if God wills, it will be more beneficial for the body, makes the brain sharper and it makes the body lighter."
6⃣ Washing the hands after eating:
💠 The holy Prophet used to wash his hands and then wipe his face with his wet hands and then he used to thank God for His favors.
💠 Image Sadiq said: "when you finished eating, wash your hands and wipe on your eyes with your wet hand as it's a protection against eye diseases."
7⃣ Laying down after eating:
💠 Imam Reza said: when you finished eating, lay down on your back and put your right leg on your left leg.
💠 Imam Sadiq said: laying down after food helps the digestion, increases the (good) weight and removes the diseases from the body.
🔺 Note: laying down doesn't mean sleeping but a relaxation for a better digestion.
📚
1- sahih Bukhari, Vol.5, Hadith 2056
2- Al-Kafi, vol.6, page 326
3- Bihar Al-Anwar, vol.66, page 402
4- AL- khisal, page 486
5- Bihar Al-Anwar, vol.62, page 290
6- Bihar Al-Anwar, vol.62, page 311
7-Makarim al-Akhlaq, vol.1, page 4
8- Bihar Al-Anwar, vol.66, page 363
9- Al-da'awaat, page 80
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🌐 www.Tabeab.com
🆔@Med4all
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🏕️Masnavi Tale about How a Prince troubled a sleeping man into whose mouth a snake had entered
A wise prince saw that a snake had entered the mouth of a man while he slept. He saw and immediately ran to him. He hit him awake and forced him to run off in dread and fear. The man hid behind a rotten apple tree, whereat the prince forced him to eat the rotten apples. So many he ate, drowsy he felt. So much so, that some fell out of his full stomach, thus questioning the wise prince “what crime did I commit to anger you”?
The prince on his horse continued to push him to run and run with a full stomach. By evening though, the man at last had vomited out food both good and bad and also the wretched snake. On seeing the snake, his pain and aches had vanished and he ran before the prince and prostrated in thanks. And he said to the prince “just like a mother you rushed to me... like a donkey from you I tried to flee.”
“if I’d given hints” the prince said, “your bravery would’ve dissolved through dread. If i told you about the snake, sheer terror would’ve made your spirit quake”.
The prince continued, “I carried on, your curses I ignored, and I prayed silently ‘make things easy My Lord’. I didn’t have permission to tell you, but still I had to show you what to do. And due to inner pain I prayed inside, they know not Oh God, my people please still guide.
Hostility from sages is like this: their poison will instead fill you with bliss.
An idiot’s friendship, though, leads to perdition... as shown to you by this profound tradition.
📚Reference:
“Masnavi book two” translated by Jawid Mojaddedi, pg. 110
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🥩 MEAT: Part 2/2
💠 Imam Ali: "eat meat, because meat is from meat, and meat strengthens meat. Whoever refrains from eating meat for forty days will become bad tempered and whoever from amongst you (weather human or animal) becomes bad tempered should have the complete Adhan recited in their ears".
📖[Bihar ul-Anwar, vol. 66, pg. 67]
💠 Imam Sadiq: "meat.. meat strengthens. Whoever avoids meat consumption for forty days will become bad tempered and whoever is bad tempered should have the adhan recited in their ears"
📖[Bihar ul-Anwar, vol. 62, pg. 293].
💠 Imam Sadiq: "meat is from meat. Whoever avoids meat consumption for forty days will become bad tempered. Therefore eat it, because it strengthens your hearing and vision abilities".
📖[Bihar ul-Anwar, vol. 66, pg. 66]
💠 Imam Sadiq: "meat.. meat strengthens and increases intellect. Whoever abandons it, destroys his intellect".
📖[Bihar ul-Anwar, vol. 66, pg. 72]
💠 Al Kafi: narrated from Hossein ibn Khalid, "I told Imam Ridha: people say that whoever refrains from eating meat for three days will become bad tempered". He (peace be with him) replied, "they lied. However one who avoids meat consumption for forty days their mood and body will transform (to an ill mood and weak physical state), because the state of sperm changes (from a state to another state) in this period".
📖[Bihar ul-Anwar, vol. 66, pg. 67]
📍Frequency of Meat Consumption
💠 Imam Sadiq: "once in a week eat meat, and do not get yourself and your family habitual of eating meat ; because addiction to meat is just like addiction to alcohol. Also, do not refrain them from meat for forty days, because it will surely cause them to become cranky and fractious. ".
📖[Al Usul al Sitta Ashr, page. 12 from Zayd al Zarrad ]
💠 From Mahasin-e Barqi narrated by Idrees bin Abdullah states: "we were next to Imam Sadiq, when the topic of eating meat arose". Imam said: "eat food with meat one day, another day with (raw organic) milk, and another day with something else".
📖[Bihar ul-Anwar, vol. 66, pg. 70]
Shahid Awwal states in al-Durus: "it is unrecommended to eat meat all the time as a habit, for there has been a narration on this matter which says that addiction to meat is likened to that of addiction to alcohol". Likewise, it is best not to be addicted to eating meat all the time, (however) without exceeding forty days of no meat consumption; and it is recommended to consume meat once every three days, according to accounts of Hadith. However, if one is sick or is fasting, it is ok to eat meat consecutively for two weeks. Also, eating meat twice a day is unrecommended".
📍Consumption of Raw Meat
💠 Imam Sadiq: "The Prophet of God, regarding consumption of raw meat, prohibited such action and said: 'only animals eat as such. Eat meat only when the heat of the flame or the sun has cooked it".
📖[Al Kafi, vol. 6, pg. 313, H. 1]
💠 also from Kafi: narrated by Hisham who said, "I asked Imam Sadiq about consumption of raw meat to which he replied: 'this is the food of animals'.
📖[Al Kafi vol. 6, pg. 314]
💠 Imam Ridha: "Consuming uncooked meat brings about worms in the stomach"
📖[Bihar ul-Anwar, vol. 62, pg. 321]
📍Bone
💠Prophet peace be with him said: "bad people of my nation are those who will eat bone marrow."
📖[Bihar ul-Anwar, vol. 62, pg. 293]
💠Prophet peace be with him said: do not eat soft part of bone's head of birds because it causes tuberculosis.
📖[Kanzul Ummal, vol. 15, pg. 264 Hadith 40889]
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TIPS FOR RAISING GREAT CHILDREN
🌱 1. Praise your child, even if they get less grades in an exam. And never insult them in person and in public.
🌱 2. Every time you speak with your children, speak with respect, say “thank you”, etc. Use ‘please' a lot and never swear.
🌱 3. Your child is just a child, don’t take away their playing time by treating them like adults. If you do this, they will suffer. From age one to seven child is like “King” or "Queen".
🌱 4. Assist your children in making decisions. Guide them by talking to them. If they want to go for something, then help them plan. Remember from age seven to fourteen you should teach them manners and good behavior.
🌱 5. After age of fifteen, ask your child for his opinion. For example, if you are going to buy a car, ask them what color he’d like the car to be. This develops the habit of consultancy in them.
🌱 6. Dedicate one or some book shelves in the house to your child. Make a place where they sit and read in peace. This will make them more confident of themselves, and live scholarly.
🌱 7. Take your child to mosque in (jama’āh) prayers. Your child will remember what he sees you doing forever. Start encouraging them to perform prayers from the age of seven.
🌱 8. Encourage your child to ask questions whenever, and try to answer their question too. Take them to the “Scholars” for their religious queries. Otherwise, they will get the answer from the wrong source, which ruins their belief and faith in God and infallibles.
🌱 9. Always fulfil your promises to your children. Do not make wrong promises which you cannot fulfill. Otherwise this makes them develop a habit of making false promises. If you fail to fulfill any promise, explain nicely.
🌱 10. Make doa (supplication) for your children. Even if they have gone astray, pray for them. Doa of a father is always helpful to the children.
🌱 11. Tell them they might fail once or few times, but never lose hope and try your best. Then leave the result on God. This is the meaning of “Tawakkul”. Teach them how they should react to a failure.
🌱 12. Apologize to your child if you have made a mistake, this teaches your child to behave good and repent to Allah. Don’t raise ifs and buts when you are wrong.
🌱 13. Praise their good deeds. Give them gift and explain to them that this gift is for the good deeds that you did. Always give gifts to daughters first then boys.
🌱 14. Read Qur’ān daily and make sure you offer your children to read a portion of Quran’s translation daily and according to their capacity. Even if it's just a few verses.
🌱 15. Tell your child repeatedly that you love them, tell them how gorgeous they are and how important they are to you, hug them as its a tradition of prophet Mohammad (peace be with him and his progeny) to kiss your children. When you kiss them God will increase a grade of your level.
🌱 16. Behave with children equally and don’t prefer one over another. However, when giving gifts, girls should be prioritized.
🌺🌺
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A bedouin arab man asked master of believers Imām Ali:
👤 If I drink water, is it forbidden?
☀️ Imām replied: no
👤 He said: "If I eat dates, is it forbidden?"
☀️Imām said: no
👤 The man said: How then, if I mix the water and dates and put it in the sun for a while and it turns into wine.. will it be forbidden to drink (still)?
☀️Amīr-ul Mo’menīn said:
Will you feel pain if I throw water on your head?
👤 The man said: no
☀️Imām said: How would it be if I get a bunch of soil and throw it on your head (Would you feel pain) ?
👤 He said: no
☀️Then Imām said: "If I mix these two and leave it for some time in the sun (so it becomes dry clay), then I throw it on your head how would you feel this ?
👤 The man said: my head will break.
☀️☀️Imām said: then this (example) is just like your question
📚Judgments of Amīr-ul Mo’menīn
@AbodeofWidom
☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️
مرد عربی از حضرت علی سلام الله عليه پرسيد👤
اگر من آب بنوشم حرام است.
فرمودند : نه☀️
👤 گفت: اگر خرما بخورم حرام است؟
فرمودند: نه☀️
👤 گفت: پس چطور اگه ايندو را با هم مخلوط كنم و مدتي در آفتاب بگذارم تا شراب شود خوردنش حرام است !
اميرالمومنين سلام الله عليه فرمودند☀️
اگر آب به رو ي سرت بپاشم دردي احساس ميكنی؟
👤 گفت : نه
فرمودند:اگر مشتی خاك بپاشم چطور ؟☀️
👤 گفت : نه
☀️ فرمودند اگر ايندو را با هم مخلوط كنم و مدتي در آفتاب بگذارم آنگاه به سرت بزنم چطور ؟
👤 گفت : فرق سرم شكافته ميشود
حضرت فرمودند : حكايت آن نيز اينگونه است
📚منبع
کتاب قضاوتهای امیرالمومنین(ع)
@AbodeofWisdom
🌹Allamah Mohammad Taqi Ja'fari:
🌲"There was a gentleman called Dr. Klaus who was a psychiatry professor. He was a German. He was asking me what makes religion a necessary part of human life.
🌲I told him, "I will open this book and place a finger on a word, for example the word "is" ".
🌲I put my finger on that word and asked him, "does this word know the words that come before it or after it?"
🌲He said: "no".
🌲I said, "do you think this two-letter word 'is', meaning 'to be' is aware of what the book is about?"
🌲He said, "no, they are two impressions of ink made on a page of paper".
🌲I said, "if you want to live like this word 'is', not knowing what its past or future is, or where it exists in the book or whether that book has any meaning or not, or how many chapters and volumes it is and so on, then you don't need religion.
🌲But if you want to live a life where you understand who you are, where you have come from, to where you have come, who the people around you are, where you are going, and why you have come, it's only religion that can answer these questions".
📍https://youtu.be/p-lqTmEit5s
Join👇👇👇
@AbodeofWisdom
.......Continuation of previous post)
http://www.thinkatheist.com/m/blogpost?id=1982180%3ABlogPost%3A1534215
The fashions coming out of the Western sewer are designed to make you believe that your most valuable asset is your sexuality. But your beautiful dresses and veils are actually sexier than any Western fashion, because they cloak you in mystery and show self-respect and confidence.
A woman's sexuality should be guarded from unworthy eyes, since it should be your gift to the man who loves and respects you enough to marry you. And since your men are still manly warriors, they deserve no less than your best.
Our men don't even want purity anymore. They don't recognize the pearl of great value, opting for the flashy rhinestone instead. Only to leave her too! Your most valuable assets are your inner beauty, your innocence, and everything that makes you who you are.
But I notice that some Muslim women push the limit and try to be as Western as possible, even while wearing a veil
(with some of their hair showing). Why imitate women who already regret, or will soon regret, their lost virtue? There is no compensation for that loss.
You are flawless diamonds. Don't let them trick you into becoming rhinestones. Because everything you see in the fashion magazines and on Western television is a lie. It is Satan's trap. It is fool's gold.
A Woman's Heart
I'll let you in on a little secret, just in case you're curious: pre-marital sex is not even that great. We gave our bodies to the men we were in love with, believing that that was the way to make them love us and want to marry us, just as we had seen on television growing up. But without the security of marriage and the sure knowledge that he will always stay with us, it's not even enjoyable! That's the irony.
It was just a waste. It leaves you in tears. Speaking as one woman to another, I believe that you understand that already. Because only a woman can truly understand what's in another woman's heart. We really are all alike. Our race, religion or nationalities do not matter. A woman's heart is the same everywhere.
We love. That's what we do best. We nurture our families and give comfort and strength to the men we love. But we American women have been fooled into believing that we are happiest having careers, our own homes in which to live alone, and freedom to give our love away to whomever we choose.
That is not freedom. And that is not love. Only in the safe haven of marriage can a woman's body and heart be safe to love. Don't settle for anything less. It's not worth it. You won't even like it and you'll like yourself even less afterwards. Then he'll leave you.
@Abodeofwisdom
🌹Allamah Mohammad Taqi Ja'fari:
🌲"There was a gentleman called Dr. Klaus who was a psychiatry professor. He was a German. He was asking me what makes religion a necessary part of human life.
🌲I told him, "I will open this book and place a finger on a word, for example the word "is" ".
🌲I put my finger on that word and asked him, "does this word know the words that come before it or after it?"
🌲He said: "no".
🌲I said, "do you think this two-letter word 'is', meaning 'to be' is aware of what the book is about?"
🌲He said, "no, they are two impressions of ink made on a page of paper".
🌲I said, "if you want to live like this word 'is', not knowing what its past or future is, or where it exists in the book or whether that book has any meaning or not, or how many chapters and volumes it is and so on, then you don't need religion.
🌲But if you want to live a life where you understand who you are, where you have come from, to where you have come, who the people around you are, where you are going, and why you have come, it's only religion that can answer these questions".
📍https://youtu.be/p-lqTmEit5s
@AbodeofWisdom
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🔻🔻🔻
🔺MEAT 🔺 PART 2/2
🔻🔻🔻🔻
💠 Imam Ali: "eat meat, because meat is from meat, and meat strengthens meat. Whoever refrains from eating meat for forty days will become bad tempered and whoever from amongst you (weather human or animal) becomes bad tempered should have the complete Adhan recited in their ears". [Bihar ul-Anwar, vol. 66, pg. 67]
💠 Imam Sadiq: "meat.. meat strengthens. Whoever avoids meat consumption for forty days will become bad tempered and whoever is bad tempered should have the adhan recited in their ears"[Bihar ul-Anwar, vol. 62, pg. 293].
💠 Imam Sadiq: "meat is from meat. Whoever avoids meat consumption for forty days will become bad tempered. Therefore eat it, because it strengthens your hearing and vision abilities". [Bihar ul-Anwar, vol. 66, pg. 66]
💠 Imam Sadiq: "meat.. meat strengthens and increases intellect. Whoever abandons it, destroys his intellect". [Bihar ul-Anwar, vol. 66, pg. 72]
💠 Al Kafi: narrated from Hossein ibn Khalid, "I told Imam Ridha: people say that whoever refrains from eating meat for three days will become bad tempered". He (peace be with him) replied, "they lied. However one who avoids meat consumption for forty days their mood and body will transform (to an ill mood and weak physical state), because the state of sperm changes (from a state to another state) in this period". [Bihar ul-Anwar, vol. 66, pg. 67]
📍Frequency of Meat Consumption📍
💠 Imam Sadiq: "once in a week eat meat, and do not get yourself and your family habitual of eating meat ; because addiction to meat is just like addiction to alcohol. Also, do not refrain them from meat for forty days, because it will surely cause them to become cranky and fractious. ". [Al Usul al Sitta Ashr, page. 12 from Zayd al Zarrad ]
💠 From Mahasin-e Barqi narrated by Idrees bin Abdullah states: "we were next to Imam Sadiq, when the topic of eating meat arose". Imam said: "eat food with meat one day, another day with (raw organic) milk, and another day with something else". [Bihar ul-Anwar, vol. 66, pg. 70]
Shahid Awwal states in al-Durus: "it is unrecommended to eat meat all the time as a habit, for there has been a narration on this matter which says that addiction to meat is likened to that of addiction to alcohol". Likewise, it is best not to be addicted to eating meat all the time, (however) without exceeding forty days of no meat consumption; and it is recommended to consume meat once every three days, according to accounts of Hadith. However, if one is sick or is fasting, it is ok to eat meat consecutively for two weeks. Also, eating meat twice a day is unrecommended".
📍Consumption of Raw Meat📍
💠 Imam Sadiq: "The Prophet of God, regarding consumption of raw meat, prohibited such action and said: 'only animals eat as such. Eat meat only when the heat of the flame or the sun has cooked it". [Al Kafi, vol. 6, pg. 313, H. 1]
💠 also from Kafi: narrated by Hisham who said, "I asked Imam Sadiq about consumption of raw meat to which he replied: 'this is the food of animals'. [Al Kafi vol. 6, pg. 314]
💠 Imam Ridha: "Consuming uncooked meat brings about worms in the stomach" [Bihar ul-Anwar, vol. 62, pg. 321]
📍Bone📍
💠Prophet peace be with him said: "bad people of my nation are those who will eat bone marrow." [Bihar ul-Anwar, vol. 62, pg. 293]
💠Prophet peace be with him said: do not eat soft part of bone's head of birds because it causes tuberculosis. [Kanzul Ummal, vol. 15, pg. 264 Hadith 40889]
@AbodeofWisdom
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🌼🍃🌸🍃🌺🍃🌸🍃🌺
🌹Allamah Mohammad Taqi Ja'fari:
🌲"There was a gentleman called Dr. Klaus who was a psychiatry professor. He was a German. He was asking me what makes religion a necessary part of human life.
🌲I told him, "I will open this book and place a finger on a word, for example the word "is" ".
🌲I put my finger on that word and asked him, "does this word know the words that come before it or after it?"
🌲He said: "no".
🌲I said, "do you think this two-letter word 'is', meaning 'to be' is aware of what the book is about?"
🌲He said, "no, they are two impressions of ink made on a page of paper".
🌲I said, "if you want to live like this word 'is', not knowing what its past or future is, or where it exists in the book or whether that book has any meaning or not, or how many chapters and volumes it is and so on, then you don't need religion.
🌲But if you want to live a life where you understand who you are, where you have come from, to where you have come, who the people around you are, where you are going, and why you have come, it's only religion that can answer these questions".
📍https://youtu.be/p-lqTmEit5s
@AbodeofWisdom
💠THE COUNSEL OF THE BIRD💠
“A man captured a bird by deception and snares.
The bird said to him, ‘O noble sir, in your time you have eaten many oxen and sheep, and likewise sacrificed many camels. You have never become satisfied with their meat, so you will not be satisfied with mine.
Let me go, so I may give you three advices by which you will see whether I am wise or foolish. The first of my counsels shall be given on your wrist, the second on your well-plastered roof, and the third I will give you from the top of a tree. On hearing all three you will see yourself happy.
🔹As for the advice on your wrist:
Don’t fall for foolish claims of any one!’
When he had spoken this counsel on his wrist, he flew up to the top of the roof, entirely free, the bird said:
🔹’Do not grieve for what is past. When a thing is done, don’t be vexed about it.’
Then the bird continued: ‘Hidden inside me is a precious pearl, it weighs as much as ten silver coins. It belonged to you, a wealth for yourself and prosperity for your children. When you set me free you lost it, as it was not fated you should get it. That was such a pearl whose like can be found nowhere.’
Thereupon the man, started crying painfully like a woman giving birth.
The bird responded to him: ‘Did I not advise you to be aware of grieving over what is past?! When it is past and gone, why have sorrow for it? Either you misunderstood me or you’re deaf.
The first counsel I gave you was this:
Don’t believe foolish assertions. You fool! I do not weigh three silver coins let alone to carry a pearl of ten silver coins within me.’
The man recovered himself and said, ‘well then, at least tell me your third good advise!’
The bird replied sarcastically, ‘oh yeah, sure! Certainly you made a fine use of the others, that I should waste my third counsel upon you! Giving advice to a sleepy idiot is like sowing seeds on salty land. Torn garments of foolishness and ignorance cannot be patched.
Oh advice-givers, do not waste the seed of advice on them!’”
📚”Flowers from Persian Poets” (1901) vol. 1, p. 228-229
@AbodeofWisdom
🌹Allamah Mohammad Taqi Ja'fari:
🌲"There was a gentleman called Dr. Klaus who was a psychiatry professor. He was a German. He was asking me what makes religion a necessary part of human life.
🌲I told him, "I will open this book and place a finger on a word, for example the word "is" ".
🌲I put my finger on that word and asked him, "does this word know the words that come before it or after it?"
🌲He said: "no".
🌲I said, "do you think this two-letter word 'is', meaning 'to be' is aware of what the book is about?"
🌲He said, "no, they are two impressions of ink made on a page of paper".
🌲I said, "if you want to live like this word 'is', not knowing what its past or future is, or where it exists in the book or whether that book has any meaning or not, or how many chapters and volumes it is and so on, then you don't need religion.
🌲But if you want to live a life where you understand who you are, where you have come from, to where you have come, who the people around you are, where you are going, and why you have come, it's only religion that can answer these questions".
📍https://youtu.be/p-lqTmEit5s
Join👇👇👇
@AbodeofWisdom
❇️The Teacher and the Cross-eyed student
“A teacher told a cross-eyed boy one day,
‘Go fetch for me a bottle straight away!’
The boy returned, ‘Which bottle did you mean
Of that exactly matching pair I’ve seen?’
The teacher said, ‘There’s only one you fool!’
Have you not learned to add up yet at school?’
The boy protested, ‘Sir don’t laugh at me!’
The teacher said, ‘Try smashing one to see!’
A single bottle looked to him like two
But when one broke, both vanished from his view!
When he smashed one the other broke as well,
Desire can make you cross-eyed in its spell!
And lust and rage doesn’t just affect your sight,
They agitate your soul, set it alight
Virtue’s forgotten when your heart feels lust,
Veils block your heart and eyes like layers of dust,
So when a judge let’s bribery win his heart,
He can’t tell guilt and innocence apart.”
📚“Rūmī: the Masnavi Book one” trans. Jawad Mojaddedi” P.24
@AbodeofWisdom
🎙 Professor AbdolHadi Emrani:
🔰“We are at war with our kids. We are not side by side, rather we are face to face! Change this way! You will surely see that your kids have motivation for everything.
🔰But unfortunately you say that they should have motivation only for works that I want. This is the problem!
🔰Mom has laid out the tablecloth and dad is sitting. If there are siblings or other members of the house then they are sitting ready to eat. Mom says: ‘Fatima, come eat food!’. (Now) look at Fatima’s response, She’s only 3 years old: ‘I don’t want to!’ ‘What?! Why not?’ ‘Because I want to watch TV. I want to play!’
🔰‘My dear, your father came. You’ve played morning till evening. Now let’s eat some food.’ ‘I don’t want to!’
🔰Go into Fatima’s head. You know what she really says? She says: ‘Don’t order me. Commanding me to eat food does not sit well with me. I’m a human, God has created me with the ability to choose.’
🔰This is a 3 year old child. Now mom’s dialogue changes: ‘Fatima!’
‘Yes.’ ‘Would you like to eat your meal with salad or yogurt?’ This is not deception! It is attention to human nature. Human wants to be associated with his own actions, even if it is to a small extent. Event if as small as choosing between salad or yogurt. But I need to have the right to choose. I’m a person too!!
🔰Tell her: ‘should I put ground meat or greens?’ She will find interest and come to the table to eat. (Of course) under the condition that she is hungry. If she is full never force her.
🔰‘Fatima, I’ve placed your meal in the kitchen, eat whenever you want.’ That is, you are the decider of your actions. This is not spoiling the kids, This is respect to the humane persona.
🔰‘Fatima do you want to eat with us now or should we wait 10 minutes Until you have finished playing?’ That is, whenever it be you have a say and right to choose. I don’t know why we crave the feeling of power: ‘Get up and eat your food, it’s getting cold!!’
She says: ‘I don’t want it.’
🔰Then she’ll bring a thousand lies. I’m full! The older kids who go to school: I have to finish my work. ‘What!!!? I told you all morning and now you want to work when we want to eat?’
🔰That is, if you (the parent) know how to command, I (your child) know how to bypass it.
Click HERE for video with English subtitles
@AbodeofWisdom
🎙 Professor AbdolHadi Emrani:
🔰“We are at war with our kids. We are not side by side, rather we are face to face! Change this way! You will surely see that your kids have motivation for everything.
🔰But unfortunately you say that they should have motivation only for works that I want. This is the problem!
🔰Mom has laid out the tablecloth and dad is sitting. If there are siblings or other members of the house then they are sitting ready to eat. Mom says: ‘Fatima, come eat food!’. (Now) look at Fatima’s response, She’s only 3 years old: ‘I don’t want to!’ ‘What?! Why not?’ ‘Because I want to watch TV. I want to play!’
🔰‘My dear, your father came. You’ve played morning till evening. Now let’s eat some food.’ ‘I don’t want to!’
🔰Go into Fatima’s head. You know what she really says? She says: ‘Don’t order me. Commanding me to eat food does not sit well with me. I’m a human, God has created me with the ability to choose.’
🔰This is a 3 year old child. Now mom’s dialogue changes: ‘Fatima!’
‘Yes.’ ‘Would you like to eat your meal with salad or yogurt?’ This is not deception! It is attention to human nature. Human wants to be associated with his own actions, even if it is to a small extent. Event if as small as choosing between salad or yogurt. But I need to have the right to choose. I’m a person too!!
🔰Tell her: ‘should I put ground meat or greens?’ She will find interest and come to the table to eat. (Of course) under the condition that she is hungry. If she is full never force her.
🔰‘Fatima, I’ve placed your meal in the kitchen, eat whenever you want.’ That is, you are the decider of your actions. This is not spoiling the kids, This is respect to the humane persona.
🔰‘Fatima do you want to eat with us now or should we wait 10 minutes Until you have finished playing?’ That is, whenever it be you have a say and right to choose. I don’t know why we crave the feeling of power: ‘Get up and eat your food, it’s getting cold!!’
She says: ‘I don’t want it.’
🔰Then she’ll bring a thousand lies. I’m full! The older kids who go to school: I have to finish my work. ‘What!!!? I told you all morning and now you want to work when we want to eat?’
🔰That is, if you (the parent) know how to command, I (your child) know how to bypass it.
Click HERE for video with English subtitles
@AbodeofWisdom
🎙 Professor AbdolHadi Emrani:
🔰“We are at war with our kids. We are not side by side, rather we are face to face! Change this way! You will surely see that your kids have motivation for everything.
🔰But unfortunately you say that they should have motivation only for works that I want. This is the problem!
🔰Mom has laid out the tablecloth and dad is sitting. If there are siblings or other members of the house then they are sitting ready to eat. Mom says: ‘Fatima, come eat food!’. (Now) look at Fatima’s response, She’s only 3 years old: ‘I don’t want to!’ ‘What?! Why not?’ ‘Because I want to watch TV. I want to play!’
🔰‘My dear, your father came. You’ve played morning till evening. Now let’s eat some food.’ ‘I don’t want to!’
🔰Go into Fatima’s head. You know what she really says? She says: ‘Don’t order me. Commanding me to eat food does not sit well with me. I’m a human, God has created me with the ability to choose.’
🔰This is a 3 year old child. Now mom’s dialogue changes: ‘Fatima!’
‘Yes.’ ‘Would you like to eat your meal with salad or yogurt?’ This is not deception! It is attention to human nature. Human wants to be associated with his own actions, even if it is to a small extent. Event if as small as choosing between salad or yogurt. But I need to have the right to choose. I’m a person too!!
🔰Tell her: ‘should I put ground meat or greens?’ She will find interest and come to the table to eat. (Of course) under the condition that she is hungry. If she is full never force her.
🔰‘Fatima, I’ve placed your meal in the kitchen, eat whenever you want.’ That is, you are the decider of your actions. This is not spoiling the kids, This is respect to the humane persona.
🔰‘Fatima do you want to eat with us now or should we wait 10 minutes Until you have finished playing?’ That is, whenever it be you have a say and right to choose. I don’t know why we crave the feeling of power: ‘Get up and eat your food, it’s getting cold!!’
She says: ‘I don’t want it.’
🔰Then she’ll bring a thousand lies. I’m full! The older kids who go to school: I have to finish my work. ‘What!!!? I told you all morning and now you want to work when we want to eat?’
🔰That is, if you (the parent) know how to command, I (your child) know how to bypass it.
Click HERE for video with English subtitles
@AbodeofWisdom
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